Scythe
Task Mage
Awesomely Cool Member Guy
Quite Possibly Mad
Posts: 533
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Post by Scythe on Aug 6, 2004 19:02:38 GMT -5
Groaners welcome! And try not to post too many at once. I know almost everyone has a camel-full of them.
Im just doing two now.
What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 6 blocks from the blood bank? A cab!
What's green and has wheels? Grass! (I made up the part about the wheels...)
They're terrible, I know. Please contribute. Im sure there's plenty of them out there.
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Post by omeguz on Aug 7, 2004 18:11:45 GMT -5
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert. When one gets something blown into his eye. His companion takes a look at his eye for him and says, “Hold still Abdul, it might be sand.”
And my favorite:
Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China? A: Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone's always Winging the Wong number.
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Post by piñata on Aug 9, 2004 6:39:43 GMT -5
What do you call pickled bread? Dill-dough.
That's the only one I can think of for now. I'll be back later.
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Post by Ape on Aug 9, 2004 9:37:07 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road? ...who the fork cares? Why did George Bush cross the road? His d!ck was stuck in the chicken.
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Scythe
Task Mage
Awesomely Cool Member Guy
Quite Possibly Mad
Posts: 533
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Post by Scythe on Aug 9, 2004 9:40:51 GMT -5
An astronaut walks into a bar. the bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!" The astronaut says, "Why would you name a drink Larry?"
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Post by devo2 on Aug 9, 2004 12:13:23 GMT -5
two guys walk into a bar. the second guy should've known better
what did the italian do when he found a piece of gum on the toilet seat? he chewed the sh!t out of it.
what do you call a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand? not enough sand
NOTE: before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, my mom is a lawyer.
how do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Take your foot off of his head
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Post by Ape on Aug 9, 2004 13:17:40 GMT -5
What do you do when your ex has been shot? Shot 'em again.
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Post by stalin on Aug 10, 2004 12:26:23 GMT -5
OOO OOOO!!! I have another one devo!
What do you call a lawyer at the bottom of the ocean with a 10 ton weight tied to his foot?
A good start.
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Post by devo2 on Aug 10, 2004 12:57:02 GMT -5
Nice!
What's the difference between a lawyer and pond scum? The jewelry
what's the difference between an italian and a bucket of sh!t? The bucket
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope
How do you save a lawyer's life? Who cares
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? not as many as you'd like
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Post by jdog on Aug 10, 2004 22:16:24 GMT -5
what's the difference between Bush and a two foot long turd with an I.Q. of 3.7?
not a blessed thing.
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Post by omeguz on Aug 11, 2004 1:53:01 GMT -5
What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor? No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print. Why does a sorority girl wear underwear? To keep her ankles warm What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids. What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic? Only 1500 went down on the Titanic. And today's favorite: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese. ;D
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Post by DarkAngel on Aug 11, 2004 20:31:02 GMT -5
rofl at the last one Meggy ;D
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Post by omeguz on Aug 12, 2004 5:47:46 GMT -5
These are both for JnL - I don't remember that many, but for what it's worth:
Why do Mexicans eat Tomales for Christmas? So they have something to unwrap
Why did God give Mexicans noses? So they'll have something to pick in the winter
I am also making a german joke thread for him.
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Post by devo2 on Aug 12, 2004 16:31:19 GMT -5
sorry, I have to contribute.
what did the mexican get for his birthday? My bike
I'm goin' to hell.
Feel free to make excessive Italian jokes JNL. I'd say make American jokes but people do that all day long anyway and nobody seems to mind
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Post by Ape on Aug 12, 2004 18:22:18 GMT -5
Thats becasue we're to stupid to understand them.
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Post by omeguz on Aug 13, 2004 3:26:08 GMT -5
No you're not! You have all those 200 years (or something like that) of history to look back upon! Now that's LOT of history right there! ;D
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Post by devo2 on Aug 13, 2004 13:29:55 GMT -5
stop talking about Americans in the third person. You're American too...
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Post by Ape on Aug 13, 2004 17:02:27 GMT -5
I think there is a very obvious answer as to why we are so stupid. I would post it but i probably couldn't without sounding racist. Even though i'm not, it would diffenently(fork the correct spelling) sound racist. If someone makes a thread about it on the debate board i might post.
and back on topic...
Why did the chicken cross the road? So i could post about it and bring this thread back on topic.
...
*runs away*
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Post by devo2 on Aug 13, 2004 17:09:51 GMT -5
*chases down ape, grabs him by the ear and drags him back*
now post something funny.
How do you know if an Italian has been working on a computer? There's white out on the monitor.
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Post by Ape on Aug 13, 2004 18:53:50 GMT -5
Fine. What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.
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