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Post by Soulcatcher on May 5, 2008 13:09:42 GMT -5
At that moment, a portion of the ceiling gets torn through as something falls to te floor of the room with a loud crash. The debris gets push aside and Soul reveals himself, rubbing his head.
Soul: Hey guys... what I miss?
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Post by piñata on May 6, 2008 11:22:08 GMT -5
Pinata: Hey, Soulcatcher. We're about to attack a Shade. Elfie: Indeed. Trasta (over Pinata's comlink): Elfie, you're an embarrassment to your fellow Elves. People stopped saying 'indeed' in the 2nd century. (OOC: The Conclave's 2nd century... we're in the 4th now.)
*As the Conclave force prepares to move out, screams and explosions can be heard over Pinata's comlink. Pinata tries to raise Trasta, but all he can get is static.*
Pinata: Static, get off this frequency. I'm trying to talk to my wife. Static: Your wife can suck my... oh, wait. That's already happened.
*The Conclave force moves out, and soon reaches their target. After some brief skirmishes with scouts, who are promptly killed, they clash with the main force.*
(I'll let someone else kick off the actual battle, you guys are good at writing that sort of thing.)
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Post by SuperBassX84 on May 6, 2008 18:15:44 GMT -5
The combined forces approach the shade's army from the south, over a hill. As they crest the hill, the enemy encampment comes into view - hundreds of tents, thousands of men, orcs, and urgal.
Piñata: Making camp? At this hour? In a valley? Durza must be losing his touch. Elfie: Not necessarily. The loss of Aratar's forces at our capital must've thrown the remaining armies into disarray, struggling to figure out what to do next and how to regroup. Durza, being intelligent but weaker than the other armies, is likely laying low, waiting for his chance to strike at someone, be it the 'Clave or Aratar. Bass: Notice, also, that this valley is surrounding about 7/8 of the way around by hills and mountains. Were it not for our excellent scouts... Piñata: ...we'd never have found them. Good point. So, shall we get this started?
Piñata ignites his lightsaber and begins down the hill, but is grabbed and restrained by Bass.
Bass: Not yet. We don't know if we've been spotted, and if we haven't, we can use surprise to our advantage. Remember - proper planning and we can avoid casualties entirely. Night will be here soon, we can set up for an attack under darkness.
Bass motions the men back down the hill, intending to set up camp just out of sight. Piñata snorts loudly, but nods in agreement and extinguishes his lightsaber.
Bass: Any sort of large area-of-effect type spells you have should be readied. The more of the army we can remove in the first minute, the better. We have a few hundred, they have several thousand - it's all we can do to even the odds. Have the Polar Bears with the gatling guns on the front lines...humans, orcs, and urgals aren't exactly known for their resistance to high-speed, high-powered ammunition. Have any melee forces alongside or behind the bears...anyone who gets through should be dealt with quickly. Behind the bears will be distance fighters...archers, Elfie, mages, etc. Behind them, any and all artillery we have. Any catapults, the Capybaras (many were reissued from AA to long-range artillery), etc. I want them to think Hell itself is raining down on them. After the first wave of hopefully ranged warfare, they should pull back and, hopefully, attempt to retreat and regroup. When that happens, we push in and finish them. Optimally, this takes no more than a few hours. Let's do this right, people.
Bass conjures a small blaze, but immediately extinguishes it, leaving a small pile of red-hot burning embers. He pulls a pot from his sack, as well as several portions of food.
Bass: And no fires. I don't want our position given away prematurely. Piñata, have some scouts spread out and make sure THEIR scouts don't find us. If you're that desperate to decapitate some people, by all means, you're welcome to go. Piñata: Done and done. Bass: I thought so. Elfie: The sun's already low, it'll be dusk in about an hour, completely dark in about two and a half. Bass: Thanks, Elfie.
Bass speaks into his intercom.
Bass: Static...you're lucky, it's mostly cloudy now. If the clouds start to clear before nightfall, get Basurake out of here...we should be ok without it. If they stay, you're welcome to rain as much Hell as your blimp can muster. Static: Zeppelin Bass: Fair enough. Just keep out of sight.
Bass begins cooking, preparing a meal for the fight ahead.
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Post by Ape on May 6, 2008 19:23:48 GMT -5
*Ape walks around grumbling something about being horrible at stealthy-ness. As if to emphasize his point, he trips over his own foot and knocks over a bag full of pans and canned foods, making a racket that echos across the valley*
Ape: I knew that damn dwarf ripped me off when selling me these boots. *cough*
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Post by piñata on May 7, 2008 11:58:53 GMT -5
*Pinata hears the echoing crash as he's in the process of scalping an enemy scout.*
Pinata: Dammit. They want me to be stealthy while they get to party like it's 1999? Conclave scout: Sir, look out! Pinata: No, you're the lookout... oh. Incoming!
*Pinata flattens himself to the ground just in time to avoid a hail of arrows. He hears a grunt of pain and a muffled thud from behind him... the Conclave has taken its first casualty.*
Pinata (speaking into his comlink): Bass, we've been made. Surprise is no longer an option. Conclave scout: Uh-oh. Surprise is no longer an option. Pinata: That's right. Stay behind me.
*Pinata lashes out at the enemy archers before him, flattening them with a burst of Force Destruction.*
Pinata: Okay Bass, first wave is dealt with. I'm heading back to join the main force. Scouts, form up. How many casualties did we take? Scout: We lost three men, sir. I didn't bother to check for pulses... Urgals use poisoned arrows. Pinata: Yeah, there's no chance they survived. But at least we gave better than we got.
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Post by Ape on May 9, 2008 8:06:47 GMT -5
*After receiving a tongue-lashing from Bass for ruining his plans of stealth, Ape retreats to the back lines where Bush is commanding a reserve of Indestructible Apes. After a few minutes of discussion, Bush rockets away from the battle field*
*Bass, seeing Bush fly away, gets further annoyed with Ape for not only exposing them but then commanding 1 of their numbers to fly away*
Ape: It's not like we need him anyway. You said yourself this would be an easy battle. Let's just kill these assholes and go.
*Ape commands his indestructible apes to attack. Their fur whips around in a rush of wind as they speed down into the valley, beating their metal chests and emitting guttural warcries*
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Post by piñata on May 9, 2008 9:47:12 GMT -5
*Pinata looks down at the enemy army. They are preparing to attack the Conclave force, but still do not know that Airship Basurake is above them. Pinata thumbs his comlink back on.* Pinata: Static, unleash hell. Static: It's about Forking time. *Energy blasts from the ship's turrets combine with a maelstrom of electricity conjured by Static to rain down destruction on the enemy force. The enemy responds by having catapults fire on the Conclave positions in the hills... one of the boulders nearly hits Pinata.* Pinata: Okay, who threw that?
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Post by Soulcatcher on May 10, 2008 19:29:27 GMT -5
Soul: Uggghhhh... Already exposed... Thanks alot Apey...
*Throws Fish at Apey*
Soul gathers mana and conjurs two soulcatcher's Aerie's to rise from the ground, and from them flush out thousands of Dodo birds upon Soul's will.
Soul: Meh, what's the harm in making an already extinct species extinct again. CHARGE!
An Ostrich plucks Soul from the ground and mounts him on it's back. Afterwhich, soul conjurs a wind blade in his right hand, directs the birds forward, and the entire dodo army charges, in a flurry of feathers and sqwaking, towards the enemy
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Post by SuperBassX84 on May 11, 2008 1:25:03 GMT -5
Bass: Bears! Capybara's! Archers! Open fire!
The hills themselves shake and crumble as the entirety of the ranged and artillery units open up, raining bullets, explosives, and arrows down onto the enemy forces.
Bass: They weren't expecting this sort of attack. We may have lost the night-time surprise I was hoping for, but we still caught them with their pants down, and it's still dusk. Too many of our forces down there now, no chance for the Flame Wave I was planning...
Bass watches for a minute, looking almost peaceful among the hail of gunfire and artillery.
Elfie: You're taking an uncharacteristically non-aggressive role. Bass: These wars won't be won by my showmanship and skill with a sword...or two, as it were...they'll be won by tactical superiority, power, and intelligence.
A badger burrows out of the ground next to Bass.
Bass: Speaking of intelligence...thank you.
Bass takes several pieces of paper from the badger and begins reading.
Bass: Huh. Looks like Aratar's domain isn't as secure as it would seem...Durza has been communicating with Pashalik Mons...apparently he's been trying to rally the goblin horde to his side in an attempt to gather a force big enough to crush both the Conclave and Aratar. More importantly, it looks like he's left this army for a while to meet with Mons...he's with the goblins right now. Laniin: So who's in charge? Bass: I don't know, these documents don't say...looks like we'll have to get in and see for ourselves. Laniin: So let's go. Bass: Sounds like a date to me. Laniin: .....I'll cut you. Bass: I know...I like my luck tonight. And now, back into normal character...
With a scream, Bass unsheathes his swords and leaps forward into the battle, cutting down a pair of Urgals as he lands. Laniin is immediately on his heels, dismembering men with blinding speed.
Bass: Whoever's in charge, they're not doing a very good job...the men are already turning and running...the orcs and urgals look like they're considering it, too. Laniin: Easy fight then...even easier than you thought, Bassy-po--ugh!
Laniin is knocked back several yards by dark magic, but scrambles quickly to her feet. Her front left side is smoking, her armor torn and melted slightly. She looks for her attacker, but sees no one.
Laniin: What the hell was that? If I hadn't been trained in the dark arts and magical resistances, that would've killed me. Bass: I don't know, it came outta nowhere, by the time I got my head around, there was nothing there. Laniin: Tell the others to watch it...this isn't a shade, but it IS a powerful dark wizard. Durza's advisor is apparently no slouch. Bass: Understood.
Bass opens his comlink.
Bass: Everyone, watch out, there's a dark wizard of unknown origin and power-- Laniin: It's a lot. Bass: --a lot of power lurking about somewhere, identity unconfirmed. If suspected, approach with caution.
Bass closes his comlink.
Bass: So, back to our date?
Laniin cuts Bass on the arm.
Bass: Ow! Laniin: Told ya.
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Post by Ape on May 11, 2008 11:17:27 GMT -5
*ApeKiller gets hit by the dark magic Bass just warned him about on the back of the neck. He gets a very slimy feeling and suddenly he is surrounded by a strong stench of something long dead. ApeKiller thinks this must be what it feels like when you are about to die. He turns around franticly in hopes of seeing whatever it was that sent the magic before he passes out, and when he turns he sees...Soul? Ape looks down to the ground and see's the fish there that Soul just threw at him*
Ape: ...damn you!
*Ape, relieved that he isn't about to die(but still a little stinky) turns to watch his Indestructible Apes tear into a large force of orcs. The apes penetrate the force easily and slaughter an opening straight through the center of their formation. The orcs quickly close around the apes and completely surround them, but the apes simply stop, stand back-to-back in a circle, and begin killing their way back out of the broken formation in all different directions, creating a circle of dead that grows by the second. Crude weapons ting off their metal chests as the tear orcs apart, breaking necks and ripping away limbs. It only takes minutes for the small force of apes to completely dismantle the much larger force of orcs*
Ape: Man, if only it were easy to mass produce those things, we'd be unstoppable.
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Post by piñata on May 12, 2008 11:34:43 GMT -5
Pinata (overhearing Ape): Yeah, I wonder how Essential Magic did it? They seemed to have a lot more of them. Ape: I have no idea. I'd ask Monimonkey, but, well... Pinata: ... you decapitated him. Ape: Right.
*Pinata dodges a blast of dark magic, which hits one of the Conclave scouts that followed him into battle instead.*
Pinata: Bass, I've found your dark wizard. Dark Wizard: Your Bass can't save you now. Pinata (casting a quick Lifeforce): He ain't my Bass.
*The dark wizard tries to hit Pinata with another burst of dark magical energy, but is sent staggering backward by the force of Pinata's countermagic from the Lifeforce.*
Pinata: Guys, I'm gonna need help to take this one down!
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Post by SuperBassX84 on May 12, 2008 12:10:09 GMT -5
Bass: You gonna be alright without me, honey? Laniin: Don't call me honey. She flashes a dagger at Bass. Bass: Whatever you say, snookums. Bass narrowly dodges a dagger thrown at him before sprinting at blinding speed towards Piñata and the still unidentified dark wizard. As he closes, he readies his swords for a slash attack, preparing to cleave the wizard in half in one swipe. The wizard seems not to notice Bass in the clamor of battle, continuing to advance of Piñata, hurling various types of dark magic, attempting to find one that may evade Piñata's countermagic. Bass pushes himself harder, leaping over the fallen bodies of several humans before reaching the wizard and striking with all of his force. The wizard's robes shred and fall to the ground, but the wizard is there no longer. Bass: ...the hell? Piñata: Bass! Behind you! Piñata's call is too late, and Bass is slammed with a massive shadowy bolt in the back, sending him tumbling towards Piñata, landing him at his friend's feet. He staggers to his feet, dazed and in pain. Bass: So...anyone you recognize? Piñata: I've been a lot of places and seen a lot of evils, and I don't remember this guy from any of them. He must be new. Bass: Awesome. I love knowing nothing about our enemy. Also, why didn't you counter that one, too, instead of just yelling? Piñata: Only works for me. Bass: Figures. Bass gets to his feet and turns around, facing the wizard. Bass: So, you got a name, or would you like your tombstone to read "Poor dumb noob who Forked with the 'Clave"? Wizard: My name is of no importance to you...you won't be alive long enough to tell anyone else of it. Bass: I've heard that before. Candybag...shall--you're already two steps ahead of me. Before Bass can finish speaking, Piñata has already charged the wizard. Bass: Fair enough. Bass opens his comlink. Bass: Soul, Ape, Laniin, if you guys... Laniin: Ahem. Bass: ...and lady...could get over here, we've found the guy in charge of this operation...as we assumed, it's not Durza, but some black magic wielding wizard who seems quite fond of blasting the crap outta people. I'm thinking we could use your help. Bass closes his comlink. Bass: Now then, where were we? Ah, right. Killing things. Bass follows Piñata, who has already begun melee combat with the wizard, who is surprisingly lithe and dodges the attacks with relative ease.
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Post by Ape on May 12, 2008 15:53:46 GMT -5
*Before ApeKiller helps Bass and Pinata, he casts an enormous Wall of Bone in front of a large force of fleeing orcs. Realizing their way is blocked, the orcs all turn to stand face-to-face with a small group of snarling indestructible apes. Ape funnels more mana into the Wall of Bone, causing it to completely encircle the army of orcs and the indestructible apes. The screams of dying orcs are heard from within the walls for several minutes while the fellowship attempt to deal with the dark wizard*
*Ape summons a Festering Goblin to run in front of him while he dashes across the battle field. As much as he would love to stay and kill orc after orc, he needs to get to Bass and Pinata as fast as possible. The Festering Goblin takes several arrows to the chest and even has it's arm cut off from the shoulder. But it continues on, since it hasn't felt pain since it rose from it's own grave to live its second life...if you could call it that. As Ape nears the dark wizard, the wizard sends an explosive ray of dark magic that hits the Festering Goblin square in the chest, causing it to explode and splattering Ape with black blood and rotting goblin flesh. Ape scratches at his face trying to remove the putrid gore seeping into his eyes as he begins to feel terribly sick to his stomach, although he is not sure whether this is because he is covered in twice-dead goblin or if he is being affected by the goblin's sickness. Nevertheless he presses on, withdrawing his Axe and anticipating the fight none of his fellows expected would be fought when they began this battle.*
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Post by Soulcatcher on May 14, 2008 8:44:02 GMT -5
*Soulcatcher's Dodo force is slowly gaining power with the help of the Aerie's and they begin to tear away at the enemy with their sharpened beaks. The Dodo even seem to be growing in size from the amount of new power they've gained.*
Soul:*Tear*, I'm so proud of them
*Soul then decapitates an orc that had just attempted to charge the ostrich with a swift slash and right after, Soul gets the message off of his comlink and begins to pet the ostrich is riding*
Soul: I'm going to have to leave you for now friend, give them hell.
*The ostrich then proceeds to clamp his beak down upon an orcs face and rips off the flesh upon the skin.*
*Soul summons a wall of souls to encase him as he flies over the battlefield towards Bass and the others, archer after archer fire upon the wall, but soon die from the damage they have dealt thmselves. Soul finally arrives at the site, dispells th wall, and floats down to join everyone.*
Soul: Anyone miss me?
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Post by piñata on May 14, 2008 11:31:22 GMT -5
Pinata: Definitely. This chickenshit keeps dodging... it's worse than sparring with Elfie. Elfie (over the comlink): I heard that! Pinata: Indeed.
*The black mage turns his attention to Soulcatcher, and Pinata takes advantage with a well-timed Lightning Bolt. Having not used any red mana yet, his attack is enough to catch the black mage off guard... however, it's far from enough to kill him, and he simply continues his assault on Soulcatcher.*
Pinata: Elfie, make yourself useful and cast some control spells on this guy or something! Bass: Indeed.
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Post by Ape on May 14, 2008 13:57:49 GMT -5
*Ape watches as the Fellowship slings spell after spell at the black mage, only to have him dodge them. Growing impatient, Ape circles to the west, somehow unnoticed by the distraced dark mage. Ape works some mana into the mud at his feet, and then charges the dark mage full blast. As Ape is about to swing his axe, the mage dodges from an arrow into Apes direction and the 2 collide, knocking them both to the ground. The dark mage gets up instantly without missing a beat while Ape is slowed by his heavy axe. The mage sends a minor blast of black energy into Apes side that knocks him sprawling a 2nd time. While Ape is down the mage returns his focus to the rest of the Clave, sending them back into a more defensive stance than a few seconds ago. ApeKiller gets up and the mage sends another minor blast at him without even turning his head. Ape throws his axe up in an attempt to block the energy and is suprised when the magic is actually deflected back at the dark mage. The magic hits the mage, who also wasn't expecting that, in the leg, knocking him down to a knee, giving Elfie enough time to cast a Story Circle for black.* Ape: There we go! *With his magic neutralized and figuring the mage to be weak in combat, Ape rushes him a 2nd time with his axe held high. As he brings it down, the mage rolls foward and comes up with a longsword in his hand, causing ape to slow his charge.* Dark Mage: You didn't think I wouldn't be able to fight did you? *Ape spins, swinging his axe and gaining momentum. By the time he is facing the Mage again, the axe is moving with such force it could cut through an oak. But the mage raises his longsword and deflects the blow easily, knocking the blade into the mud, and then slicing Ape's shoulder open with ease. Without thinking twice Ape raises his axe in a vicious upper cut, which the dark mage dodges and uses Ape's momentum to knock him on his back again. The mage points his sword towards Ape, not allowing him to get up. Ape: Who. the. Fork. ARE YOU!? Dark Mage: I'm the one who will put an end to your little... adventures. I am...what? *The mage, suddenly interrupted, begins slapping at his ankles, then his knee, and works his way up his legs to his stomach. He rips at his robes and smacks frantically at his own body, crazed and desparate to get at whatever was under the thin cloth. He screams and slaps and punches, looking like a crazed maniac. He rips a hole in his robes at his stomach and exposes another hole, this one in his actual stomach, freshly opened and bleeding profusely. Apekiller, hoping his plan would work, sends a Giant Growth to his chest* Pinata: Ape, you're supposed to kill the enemy, not help him! Elfie: No, look! *The hole begins visibly pulsing, causing the blood to spurt with the sporadic beat his wound was emitting. The area around the hole begins to bulge and the hole begins to stretch as the mage screams in agony. As the bulge reaches a good foot in diameter, covering most of the left half of his midsection, before it finally explodes open. Even those to weak to stomach the gruesome site could hear the audible burst of the mages midsection. When everyone reached the mage, he lay unconcious, clutching his side which now had a giant hole the size of a man's fist. Pinata: ...what in the Fork just happened? *As if in answer, a Plague Beetle scurried out from under the mage and crawled over his unconcious body, twice its normal size and still growing, completely covered in blood* Ape: ...good thing I didn't use Might of Oaks huh?
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Post by piñata on May 15, 2008 11:25:03 GMT -5
Pinata: Yeah, probably. Innovative use of magic, though... remind me to put you in for a Stalin Medallion. Ape: Shibby... and stuff. *Pinata moves to stand alongside the unconscious mage, and sweeps downward with his lightsaber, slicing through the man's neck and cleaving his head from his body.* Pinata: Dodge that, bitch. Elfie: Indeed. *As the enemy, devoid of leadership, loses all unit cohesion and is slaughtered by the Conclave forces, even better news comes over the hill. A line of flagbearers marches in front of the new formation, bearing the standard of Embyr Haven, a Conclave ally in the west.* Bass: Someone restrain Candybag. Pinata: Why? Is she here? Bass (pointing): You need your eyes checked, I'm surprised you missed her. *The Conclave forces look in the direction Bass is pointing. Even some of the women whistle appreciatively at the astonishingly beautiful brunette, obviously an Elf, riding at the center of the Embyr Haven formation where the leader would traditionally be protected by the rest of the force. Anorel, the ruler of Embyr Haven, had come personally to oversee her country in its military aid to the Conclave. Those who know of her long history with Pinata groan. As they watch the approaching aid force, the Conclavers notice a man break off from the rest of the formation and run out to meet the Fellowship. Pinata breaks into a grin as he recognizes him.* Pinata: Evan! It's good to see you again. Evan: You too. Looks like it's my turn to save your ass this time. Pinata: Wouldn't be the first time. We tend to trade off. Everyone, this is Evan the necromancer. Stalin: The position of necromancer is already taken, thank you very much. Just kidding, Evan... welcome to The Conclave. Evan: Thank you. Perhaps we can compare notes on the study of necromancy sometime. Er... why is he not wearing any pants? Bass: Because, pants are evil. DOWN WITH PANTS! Members of the Pantless Cult: DOWN WITH PANTS!Evan: I see. You encourage such behavior in The Conclave, Pinata? Pinata: Actually, yes. There are people who have converted to the Pantless way of life in every Conclave nation. (OOC: The Stalin Medallion is awarded for exemplary tactics... it's one of The Conclave's highest military honors. Evan is the character our newest member, Roara, plays over on Embyr Haven... he and Pinata have been friends for several centuries now, and Roara said he'd join this Adventure. Anorel is the Elven alter ego of Kait, Embyr Haven's admin, who I'm hopelessly in love with. If my RPG character having a sexual relationship with her RPG character is the closest I can get, I guess I'll take it.)
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Post by Ape on May 20, 2008 10:35:01 GMT -5
Ape: Well, that was exhuasting. Let's go relex, drink, and eat junk food or something. Elfie: Actually, we have 2 more armies to deal with, remember? Ape: Right...are they made of Doritos? Elfie: I don't think so, Ape. Ape: *grumble*
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Post by piñata on May 20, 2008 12:20:22 GMT -5
*Pinata gives Ape a funny look.*
Pinata: Doritos? Haven't you ever heard of chocolate, Ape? Ape: Of course I've heard of it. I'm just in the mood for something... cheesier. Elfie: Indeed. Pinata: Shut up, you pointy-eared... Evan: I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you, Anorel's coming over here. Pinata: Right. Anyway, as I was saying... Ape, you definitely need to get your hands on some smooth dark chocolate. It's almost as good as sex.
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Post by Ape on May 20, 2008 18:05:53 GMT -5
Ape: You're crazy man. Cheesy food is always better than chocolate. Doritos, Cheetos, 4-cheese Hot Pockets, CHEESE pizza. Elfie: Indeed. Ape: See! Even Elfie agrees with me! Pinata: No he doesn't, he always says that. Elfie: Indeed. Ape: ...
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