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Post by Ape on Mar 7, 2008 7:28:11 GMT -5
Elfie: Maybe we should be more tactical about this, there must be something we can do to help...
Ape: Nah
*Ape Killer rushes down the hill screaming at the top of his lungs while waving the Great Axe about.*
Stalin: Well I guess its decided then.
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Post by piñata on Mar 7, 2008 13:00:22 GMT -5
Pinata: Hey, I'm supposed to be the one who does that!
*Pinata charges after Ape*
Elfie: Indeed.
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Post by SuperBassX84 on Mar 19, 2008 0:48:29 GMT -5
(It's been a while since I've done this. What do I shoot?)
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Post by piñata on Mar 19, 2008 11:52:05 GMT -5
(
That's the lineup the bad guys are currently throwing against us. The ogre's Mulgarath from The Spiderwick Chronicles... Kroenen's the ninja-Nazi dude from Hellboy.)
*Pinata's downhill charge is interrupted by a mumakil cutting across his path. He just barely swerves out of the way in time to avoid being trampled.*
Pinata (pointing his wand at the mumakil): Decardia!
*Falling over from a sudden heart attack, the mumakil crushes the enemy soldiers unfortunate enough to be near it, and sends those who were riding it flying in all directions.*
Pinata: I hope the others contribute soon.
*As if in response, an arrow flies past Pinata's ear. He can just barely hear Elfie's voice: "Indeed."*
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Post by SuperBassX84 on Mar 20, 2008 23:23:20 GMT -5
(I don't remember where my damn character profile is. So, failing that, I'll do what I do best). As if his disgust for the creatures weren't apparently enough, Bass conjures a massive fireball, aimed straight at the largest group of Furbies. Bass: Never did like those Forking things. Did like how they burned, though. Unleashing the fireball, most of the furbies, as well as several goblins and a random orc, catch fire. Much laughter ensues when the furbies and goblins scramble in circles, catching other enemies on fire and generally causing a ruckus. Bass: Now, for the real fun. Bass charges into battle, drawing his sword and preparing to go Dynasty Warriors 4 on the throng of enemies in front of him.
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Post by piñata on Mar 21, 2008 11:54:08 GMT -5
(Bass: Check the forum entitled "The Conclave Story Board". You've got some new spells due to random leveling-up that's occurred due to anniversaries of years registered on the site, but other than that it should be unchanged from when you last looked at it.)
*Pinata watches the fireball crash into the enemy ranks. He knows it's Bass without turning around to look. His lightsaber flashes, cleaving an orc in half and then decapitating a goblin on the backstroke.*
Random Conclave Soldier: It's the Fellowship of the Conclave! We're saved! Pinata: Don't get cocky, kid!
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Post by Ape on Mar 22, 2008 20:26:05 GMT -5
*Ape wastes no time...ummm, wasting time. He rushes a Dwarf wielding a massive axe similar to his, except less dharok-y. Ape clashes with the little guy, sending both reeling from the impact of the massive weapons. Ape recovers quickly, and swings his axe vertically way over his head. The Axe cleaves straight through the dwarven-forged helm, and meets little resistance afterwords* *Ape pulls his axe out of the dwarves chest* Ape: Yep, just another day serving the Conclave...HEY, goblins! They're so squishy! *Apekiller charges a small squad of goblins entirely by himself. After sweeping past and beheading a few, he reaches the center of what remained of the group. They quickly close in and circle him, just as he wanted. With a tight grip on the axes handle, Ape feeds raw red mana into the axe and spins it around once, sending a wave of flame in all directions for several yards and leaving nothing but a pile of dead goblins.* Bush: Holy shit, what are you some kind of twisted ballerina from HELL!?Ape: Nooo...from Ohio! ;D ...wait, did you just call me a ballerina? *Deflects random arrow with axe head*
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Post by piñata on Mar 26, 2008 11:11:52 GMT -5
(Ape, if you want a more challenging roleplaying experience, you should check out Embyr Haven. There's like 4 other people from Ohio there, and the admin -- though she's from Georgia -- is really hot.) Pinata (getting hit with Ape's deflected arrow): Ow. And for the record, you looked more like a flamenco dancer than a ballerina. *Pinata jerks the arrow out of his shoulder and rams it into the eye of a goblin that approached too close. His lightsaber flashes again, and two orcs -- in four pieces -- fall to the ground.* Stalin (coming up on Pinata's other side and pounding on a Tusken Raider with his quarterstaff): I actually thought he looked more like a figure skater.
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Post by SuperBassX84 on Apr 1, 2008 10:58:21 GMT -5
Bass: Don't care what he is, that was pretty sweet.
Bass Lava Darts a pair of goblins in the face, causing them to fall to the ground writhing in agony. As he turns away from the goblins, a trio of Tuskans charge him. Dodging the attacks, he severs the legs of all three.
Bass: It's been a while since the demons came to play...
Bass whistles a low, eerie whistle. As soon as he finishes, a black, pulsing portal appears behind him and Balthasar, Melkior, and Kaspar, the three demons, pull themselves violently up through the portal.
Bass: That's a mighty dramatic entrance. Normally don't you just...appear?
Balthasar snorts and the three begin "playing" with the legless Tuskans.
Bass: Right. So, do we have an actual goal here, or is this just some bad hack-and-slash video game?
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Post by piñata on Apr 1, 2008 11:29:11 GMT -5
Pinata: Goal? Force a retreat, then find some hot chicks to Fork. Elfie: Indeed. Devo: Actually, our goal is to drive these Forkers out of Conclave territory entirely. The last thing we need is an occupying army in the West Conclave. Come to think of it, we're on the western border of the Pantless Cult's territory. Your people have been subjugated by Aratar's forces as well, Bass. Elfie: Indeed. Stalin: If you say 'indeed' one more time, I'm gonna jam this quarterstaff so far up your ass you'll be able to taste wood. DA: Indeed. Stalin: Ugh! His apprentice is starting in now!
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Scythe
Task Mage
Awesomely Cool Member Guy
Quite Possibly Mad
Posts: 533
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Post by Scythe on Apr 9, 2008 1:57:48 GMT -5
*FLICKER* *FLICKER* Scythe: Let me know if we decide to do something other than just kill what moves. *FLICKER* Comrades are lost to consciousness for the time being. Tactics have been abandoned; this field is a place of wanton slaughter. The good people of the Conclave on one side, enemies across. It's a tiny world just for us, striking in its simplicity: us, them, kill. *FLICKER* Scythe walks onto the battlefield with a stride that practically reeks of complacency. Cat crosses the Courtyard is the name he had learned for it, so long ago. To use Cat Crosses the Courtyard means to steal away the confidence of foes by overrepresenting one's own, and to hide alertness in a deceptive cloth of nonchalance. *FLICKER* And yet foes come. Dwarves with axes and men with swords and cruel knives. Cat Crosses the Courtyard flows into Heron Parting the Reeds. Scythe steps completely around the first dwarf, making a right-down diagonal sweep with his left blade that cleaves the second dwarf from shoulder to hip. Next, a powerful forward lunge plunges his left sword all the way through the chest of the next enemy, a man, whose eyes grow wide and jaws slacken as blood pours from his now uselessly flapping mouth. *FLICKER* Twisting the sword that's through the unfortunate man, Scythe sets the hook of his hooksword in the man's flesh. Spinning 180 degrees, he swings that sword around with him, the body still stuck on it. The body rips free of the sword and smashes into that first dwarf whom Scythe had dodged, and the impact's force crushes the bearded midget's face into its simple brain. *FLICKER* Scythe's back is now towards the enemy. Rather than turn to meet falling blades with his own, he draws blue mana. He gestures with his left hand, pointing off to the side briefly. Behind him, a Tidal Wave is summoned, smashing the platoon of dwarves and men from the side and carrying them off until the wave strikes a mumakil which topples sideways into a second elephantine war platform. Now Scythe turns around, finding no enemies nearby to greet him. The day's work was just beginning, so he steps across some sodden and broken boddies and wades out into the red tide of war.
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Post by piñata on Apr 9, 2008 8:47:22 GMT -5
Pinata: You've always to got to come in late and then do something awesome to make us look bad, don't you Scythe? Elfie, DA and Stalin in unison: Indeed. Pinata: What the Fork, Stalin? Stalin (shrugging): If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Pinata looks at the regrouping enemy. That damned ogre is still standing, and until he's down the enemy force will be more afraid of him than of the Conclave forces. Pinata: Devo, let's show Scythe here how Hogwarts graduates do it. Devo: Indeed. Pinata: Not you, too! *FLICKER* Pinata and Devo Disapparate, and reappear behind a group of enemy troops. Before the enemy can react, the two Planeswalkers have already either cut them down or disposed of them with magic. *FLICKER* They teleport again, reappearing directly in front of the next wave. The enemy can't stop their charge in time to avoid impaling themselves on their outstretched blades. Pinata sweeps left, and Devo right, taking out the next three or four troops on each side. Magic does even more damage, eliminating perhaps three dozen other enemies. Pinata: Now we see what the enemy is really made of. A Hurricane and an Earthquake are cast simultaneously. All of their mana expended, Pinata and Devo fall back and watch as the enemy troops are, for the most part, destroyed. A couple of mumakil, the Revenant Karl Kroenen, and Mulgarath are the only things left standing now. The Conclave forces suffer some losses from the dual reset button as well, but nowhere near as extensively... knowing what was coming, Elfie got the lesser Conclave soldiers over the ridge in time, and the Fellowship themselves are strong enough to withstand the damage they take.
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Post by SuperBassX84 on Apr 12, 2008 3:33:49 GMT -5
Bass: An ogrish shapeshifting warlock, eh? This should prove challenging. Pinny, what sorta powers should I expect from him?
Bass tosses his sword high into the air and, with a gesture, shatters the sword in two, each of which reforms into a new, if slightly shorter, sword.
Bass: Been practicin' some new tricks. Turns out two swords are better than one!
He lowers his head and begins to charge the Ogre. The demons turn, aware of the dark presence their master is fighting, but do not come. The warlock begins charging a bolt of black energy and Bass, still unsure of his adversary, conjures a forcefield in front of him. Mulgarath chuckles and launches the bolt, shattering the forcefield and mutilating the earth behind it.
He does not see Bass, however. Quickly his eyes turn skyward, Bass leaping with super-human speed over his head. Mulgarath takes a wild swing upward, attempting to knock Bass sideways, but he is a hair too slow, and succeeds only in swaying his assailant, who stumbles as he falls, rolling back onto his feet.
Bass: Some blast you got there. I hope that wasn't it.
Bass chuckles and begins to charge again, swords drawn to his sides and ready to strike.
Bass: Pinny, the info, I could use it now.
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Post by piñata on Apr 14, 2008 11:26:42 GMT -5
Pinata: He's immensely strong, so don't let him hit you. And his shapeshifting ability is naturally inherent, meaning that Counterspells won't work to stop it. He's using black magic, so expect black spells... Stalin, what might he have? Stalin: The usual stuff. Fear, Terror, Paralyze, various life-draining spells... if he's a necromancer he'll be able to raise the dead or use dead flesh to enhance himself or others. Pinata: And keep in mind that before he turned to evil he was a green creature, so he might be able to cast green spells as well. Don't jump around too much if you can help it, just in case he's got Squall or Hurricane in his arsenal.
Pinata rushes in to swipe at the back of Mulgarath's leg with his lightsaber while Bass has the ogre distracted. He cuts a small incision there, just enough to distract Bass' prey and keep him off balance, then decides to let Bass finish the ogre off if he can.
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Post by SuperBassX84 on Apr 14, 2008 15:40:07 GMT -5
Bass: Gotcha. Thanks, Pinny. Bass sprints again towards the monstrous Mulgarath, sheathing his swords as he runs. A few feet shy of the ogre, he leaps. Not up, as he did the first time, but forward, with all the force he can muster. As he sails towards the beast, he lifts his legs and coils, preparing to strike feet first into Mulgarath. Distracted by Piñata's swordplay, Mulgarath doesn't see it coming and has no time to respond. Bass smashes into his chest with both feet, toppling him over. As the two fall, still in contact with one-another, Bass launches every cheap burn spell he has at the ogre's face - shocks, firebolts, and lava darts fly at an astonishing rate. Mulgarath, now furious, bellows loudly and swings wildly. Bass attempts to leap off again, but is too slow, as his opponent is faster than he anticipated. He is knocked sideways, sliding and rolling along the ground. He regains his footing quickly, but Mulgarath is already upon him, sprinting full force, huge axes for hands. Bass attempts a Purge on the warlock, but it does little more than infuriate him further. Bass: Must be strong to resist a Purge...let's assume Turn the Tables won't work either, then. What else have I got... Bass extends his hands forward in a jabbing motion. As he does, feathers with the speed and sharpness of knives fly forward towards the charging ogre. They tear into his flesh, ripping off chunks and sending blood flying, but still he charges, growing himself ever larger as he takes more damage. Bass: Well, shit... Bass uncharacteristically begins back-pedaling, unsure of how to beat a monster who laughs off attacks and makes himself larger. As he wracks his brain, a small barrage of arrows lands in the monster's back, causing more blood and another effective distraction. Bass: Thanks! Elfie: Don't mention it. Seriously. I'd like him to forget I'm here. Another distraction and Bass charges again. Mulgarath sees him coming this time and takes several swipes with his axe-hands. Bass, weary but unwounded, dodges them easily. He rolls between the much-larger-than-usual gap between the ogre's legs, slicing tendons and hamstrings as he goes. The giant topples, falling to his knees. Bass unsheathes his swords and goes into the monster's back for the deathblow...and is parried by Mulgarath's shield-hand. Mulgarath shapeshifted his torso around and easily blocked the blow. Unable to move, Mulgarath takes a few wild swipes with his other hand, still an axe, before Bass backs out of range. Bass: Well, he can't move now. That's a bonus. As if on cue, Bass feels as though a thousand demons in his head have begun screaming. Just as quickly, they stop. Elfie: I'm low on mana. Don't make me counter another one. Bass: Thanks again, Elfie. Elfie: Shh. I don't want him knowing who I am, remember? Bass: Oh, right. Sorry. Confused about the failure of the attack, Mulgarath begins to reanimate bodies of the fallen soldiers around him. Goblin and Orc skeletons begin to pull themselves off the ground, their flesh falling as they rise. Bass immediately raises a CoP: Black, hoping to weather the onslaught while devising a plan. The skeletons hammer on the protective shell while Mulgarath laughs the whole time. Slowly, Bass begins to run low on mana. Knowing he'll need some for the final push, he drops the shield and begins battling the skeletons hand-to-hand. For skeletons, they are surprisingly limber, and trade swordplay with him quite well. After Bass slays a few, Mulgarath raises more, continuing to revel in his opponent's slow overrunning. Bass: I'll need to finish this quickly, but how do I get through all these skeleto-- Momentarily distracted, Bass sees a small flash of shadow bounce its way across the battlefield, landing behind Mulgarath before disappearing. The distraction is almost fatal, as a skeleton narrowly misses Bass's neck, slicing his shoulder instead. Bass responds with an Incinerate to the skeleton's face, destroying it. His wound proves problematic, and his is beaten further back by the skeletons, who slowly surround him. Then, as though called off, the skeletons crumple, becoming nothing more than bones once again. Bass: Pinny? Stalin? Was that one of you? Pinny: No. Stalin: Nope. Bass: Elfie? Elfie: Who is "Elfie"? Whoever he is, I'm sure he had nothing to do with Mulgarath's defeat. Bass: Defeat? Elfie: Look. Bass turns to Mulgarath, who has begun drooling and spurting blood at an alarming rate. Unsure of what to make of it, Bass creeps closer. Suddenly, two knives jut out of Mulgarath's neck, scaring the shit out of Bass and causing him to jump back. They spread outwards, decapitating the once-living ogre. Bass: I know those knives. You bitch! What took you so long? As Mulgarath's body topples forward one last time, his killer is revealed, standing triumphantly on his broad back. Laniin: Figured I'd give you the chance to do something for yourself, for once, Bassy. When you Forked that up, I figured I'd help you. Again. This one's on the house, though - I love ganking warlocks. Bass: Was that you with the shadow-jumping thing? Laniin: Yes. Bass: How'd you do that? Laniin: It's called Shadowstep. Special skill I learned way back when. Devastating, especially if your opponent is distracted. Bass: So that's, what, 3-1 in your favor for saves? Laniin: Something like that. I stopped keeping count when you proved you couldn't keep up. Bass: Bitch. Laniin: I try. Pinny: If you two are done, I'd like to finish mopping up and get to responding to this attack. While I love a good bloodbath, I'd like it better if it was Aratar and his Council's blood. Bass: Alright, let's finish the stragglers off and get back to the base...we'll figure out a counterattack there.
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Post by piñata on Apr 15, 2008 9:24:36 GMT -5
Pinata looks at Laniin uncertainly. Bass: Don't try it, Pinny. Pinata: I told you to stop calling me that. And I wasn't going to try anything. I liked Perlia, remember? Laniin, why didn't you bring her along? Laniin: She wanted to come, but she was worried you weren't man enough to make her do so. Pinata: That's a good comeback. Anyway, we could use your help, if you want to stick around for a while. You know, let Bass try and catch up in the saves department. Laniin: Sure. I've got nothing better to do. Seriously... I have nothing better to do. Angels are Forking boring. The group heads back into Conclave-held territory, and meets with a cadre of generals in the Conclave's forward base. General Kaibab (pointing at a map): There are large groups of enemies here, here and here. Any one of them could be nice targets for a counterattack. General Warwick: *chitters in agreement* Pinata: What do we know about the strength and composition of each individual group? Kaibab: This is Nikkos Tyris' Sith brigade... clone troopers and some Dark Jedi. This one here is Durza the Shade's force. Various human soldiers, some orcs, probably a lot of Urgals. Devo: There's little difference between orcs and Urgals. Kaibab: And this third one, this is your standard goblin/orc/kobold horde, but much better organized. There are unconfirmed reports that Pashalik Mons is in command. Pinata: What do you guys think? Static: We'll lose air superiority if we go up against the goblins, because they have gliders and balloon brigades. They might be able to bring down Airship Basurake. Stalin: It'll be messy fighting them, too. They use grenades up close. I was nearly blinded by a bone fragment once. Laniin: Shades are the mortal enemies of angels. If had my preference, I'd go up against Durza. Pinata: I'd like to battle Tyris again, myself. But we need a group consensus. Bass? Scythe? Ape Killer? You guys are awfully quiet.
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Post by Ape on Apr 15, 2008 11:30:21 GMT -5
*Ape, to busy reveling in the fighting that had just taken place, didn't hear a thing that was said*
Huh? Oh, ummm, I'll just have a Heineken, thanks.
*Ape goes back to rubbing his blood soaked chin and staring at a random corner of the room, completely unaware of the tactical aspects of the fighting, just waiting to be sent off to battle again*
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Scythe
Task Mage
Awesomely Cool Member Guy
Quite Possibly Mad
Posts: 533
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Post by Scythe on Apr 18, 2008 21:58:49 GMT -5
(I had forgotten all about Kaibab)
Scythe, watching silently from the back until now, steps forward and examines the chart on the table more closely.
Scythe: I vote we take the goblins now, while our forces are relatively strong and the Airship Basakure is still in fighting condition. Devo: You just had to pick the one that makes it a three-way tie, didn't you? Static:...You know, Scythe, you're a lot easier to deal with when you're an NPC. Several in unison: Indeed. Pinata: *fumes silently* Scythe: Err...I...uhhh...no idea what you're talking about...LOOK OVER THERE! *grabs some plaster and hastily repairs the 4th wall while others are distracted* Kaibab: Whatever you decide, we should hit one of the flank groups rather than the center one, making it harder for both others to enter and reinforce. Scythe: Looks like we need a tiebreaker....Bass?
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Post by SuperBassX84 on Apr 21, 2008 12:22:54 GMT -5
((Drinking all weekend means no Conclave for Bassy))
A tough decision, to be certain. While the Shade's forces seem to be the lower in both talent and zergability than the other two armies, they cannot be underestimated...especially with a shade leading them. However, of the three, they would seem to be the easiest; easiest is a relative term, of course. Dismantling that brigade would allow us to rest a little easier when preparing for the other two, knowing that the third is gone and, optimally, should result in very few casualties. The only other downside is that, should there be a counter-counter-attack while we're gone, we return, weary and possibly wounded, to a besieged Conclave - and we know how much fun that always is.
The clone troopers and dark jedi, whose capabilities I am not entirely sure of, will prove to be a tough fight, I think. I'm inclined to fight them now, while we're strong. By the same token, fighting them first will result in at least moderate casualties for our armed forces - an expense we may not be able to take, given the sheer size of the goblin army. Fighting this group will end much less in our favor than fighting the other two.
Finally, the greenskin army. They are the most likely to take down Airship Basurake, and have enough numbers to simply swarm us. On the bright side, they are largely untalented fighters compared to the other squads and extremely untalented compared to us. If we can find a way to engage them slowly we increase our chances greatly. Furthermore, they are very, very vulnerable to mass destruction spells like Earthquake, Flamebreak, Flamewave, and the like. Finally, the death or capture of Pashalik Mons, if he is, in fact, with them, would be a huge blow to Aratar, as it would result in a huge loss of morale for his greenskin forces - possibly even desertation and revolt.
My suggestion is to attack as follows:
First, the Shade and his forces. If set up correctly and executed well, our casualties will be minimal. While I admit I am falling into the trap of underestimating them, I still maintain they are the weakest of the three armies, and should be dealt with sooner, rather than later, before they are given the chance to become strong.
Second, we strike at the goblin/orcish/kobold horde. Let us send scouts to their area while we march on the Shade, see if we can find a bottleneck to strangle their attack in. If one can be found, we then only need enough air support to remove their gliders and balloons and the battle is easily ours.
Finally, we strike at the dark jedi and clone troopers. We should, hopefully, have enough time to rest between battles to be at full or near-full strength, as I believe we'll need it for this final fight. If Airship Basurake is still airbound, we'll have at least a moderate advantage, too.
Understand that any of these could change at a moment's notice.
That's my two cents. Take it as you will.
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Post by piñata on Apr 22, 2008 11:04:36 GMT -5
Pinata: Well thought out, Bass. Elfie: Indeed. Pinata (smaking Elfie): I know Olwe's largely in enemy hands now, but I'm going to call us in some reinforcements still. If any of you have aces in the hole as well, then I suggest you use them. DA, how many Serrans can you get here on short notice? DA: A lot. Why? Pinata: Keep them in reserve for now -- we may not need that many against the Shade -- but we'll need you to bring them in once we fight the goblins. DA: Understood. Pinata (speaking into his comlink now): Polaris, Trouble, this is Candybag. Do you read? Female voice: Is it really necessary to use codenames? Besides, any nitwit knows that my name is the Elvish word for "trouble"... I really need a better one. Pinata: Sorry, Trasta. I'm in full military mode right now... in a tent with a bunch of generals. Trasta: Are they hot? Pinata: Not particularly. Bass: Hey! Pinata: What? I'm just being honest. I'm a man, and therefore don't find you attractive. Bass: Oh. Well, I suppose that's a good thing. Another female voice: So did you Forktards actually want something? Pinata: Aurora, please show proper respect for your father. Aurora: Sorry, Mister Forktard. Did you actually want something? Pinata: Yes. What are you two doing right now? Trasta: I was headed to Castle Neilan. It's under siege... Lord Creel's put out a call for reinforcements. Stalin: Viperdude is in charge there? I thought he was still regenerating that severed arm! Pinata: Fair enough. Aurora, you go to Castle Neilan, they need Z-95s more than we do. Trasta, I'd like you to join us in the west instead. How many people do you have? Trasta: Just me, Aiden and Paploo. And a diplomatic escort from Bitewaldi. Pinata: Bitewaldi? The embassy was attacked? Trasta: Yeah. We rescued their ambassador and a large chunk of his entourage, but they're kind of slowing us down now. Pinata: Have them send for reinforcements. They can at least make themselves useful from a diplomatic standpoint. What about the other embassies? Oasis? Essential Magic? Selvo? Static DMC? Trasta: All destroyed. There were survivors, though. We took those out with us, too. Some of the guards from the Static DMC and Essential Magic delegations survived, and are protecting the diplomats on the ground while we provide air support for them. Static: Aratar wasn't so bold before. He stopped short of committing acts of war against non-Conclave territories. Now, I will remind him why. Pinata: That means you're in it for the long haul, then? Static (nodding): Static DMC is officially at war with Aratar. I shall bring the full wrath of the gods down upon his head. Pinata: All right, Trasta, change of plans. Get those diplomats to Castle Neilan where they'll be safe, then join us in the west for some goblin-smashing. Trasta: Sounds fun. Static (speaking into his own comlink): No, leave nothing in reserve. I want the entire force brought down here. Aratar would never brave the Llanowar Forest, there's no way he can reach Static DMC. Pinata (stowing his comlink after the usual exchange of I-love-yous with Trasta): Ape, it occurs to me that something else is missing from our army. Ape: Pizza? Pinata: No, Indestructible Apes. How many of them are there now, and how fast can you get them here?
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