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Post by omeguz on Aug 14, 2004 4:20:32 GMT -5
stop talking about Americans in the third person. You're American too... erm...if I may: AND Funny, eh?90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife
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Post by devo2 on Aug 14, 2004 12:47:32 GMT -5
Proves my point. To have a U.S. passport, one must be U.S.-ian. And also Englandish according to the passport.
Here's one for you, ye half-limey.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's head? The dashboard.
As I said before, I'm goin to hell.
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Post by omeguz on Aug 15, 2004 14:40:43 GMT -5
Good god Devo! You're not going to hell, you're going....to where evil, nasty devils go! UBER HELL! It's where Hitler is in charge of comfort, Oprah does the daily workout, and George W. Bush is in charge of the voting for the outings. Somehow you always end up going to see a skandinavian oprah, instead of bowling (which is what you voted for).
Anyway, I am American and British, AND live in Germany, which gives me the exquisite right to make fun of all those countries, as well as their enemies. ;D
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Post by Elfie on Aug 15, 2004 17:34:27 GMT -5
Yeah, well I'm Canadian, and Devo knows my opinion of certain parts of America.
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Post by DarkAngel on Aug 17, 2004 22:35:09 GMT -5
Awww devo, you said that joke wrong...
How do you know when a blonde has been using a computer?
When there is whiteout on the monitor.
How do you know when a second blonde has been using a computer?
There's writing on the whiteout.
How do you know when a third blonde has been using a computer?
The joystick is wet.
*Shudders*
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Post by devo2 on Aug 17, 2004 23:31:38 GMT -5
yes I'm well aware that it was originally a blonde joke, but being Italian and not being blonde, I thought the modification made it safer.
Anyway, how do you confuse a blonde? put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner
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Post by omeguz on Aug 18, 2004 11:22:39 GMT -5
And we wont even go into the wet joystick with the italian Moderator. Thats a NASTY one!
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Post by devo2 on Aug 18, 2004 11:24:41 GMT -5
Stupid limey halfling racist...
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Post by DarkAngel on Aug 18, 2004 16:32:21 GMT -5
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell her to pee in the corner in a round room.
How does a blonde confuse you?
When she tells you she's done.
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Post by kemykal on Sept 1, 2004 16:51:34 GMT -5
you guys are doing some of these jokes completely wrong. it may just be me, but any joke where the subject can be switched with any slur or quality just isnt funny. stupidity isnt much of a joke material IMO. i prefer stereotypes or victims. for example, the correct round room joke is as follows.
How do you drive a Jew insane? Put him in a round room and tell him there is a penny in the corner.
see, it gets the point across much better. you can call any race, nationality, quality, etc. stupid, but it actually means something when it pokes fun at something unique. also, the lawyer out of a tree joke should be replaced with some sort of racial slur for historical purposes, but that is more opinion (remember, i am not actually racist).[/rant]
now on to the jokes.
Why did the girl fall off the bike? Cause someone threw a refrigerator at her.
Why did the boy fall off the swing? Cause he had no arms.
How do you get a Straight-Edge to drink a 6-pack of beer? Tell him none of his friends are watching.
Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead.
A black man walks into a country club... and gets shot.
What is the difference between a trampoline and a hippie? You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.
Whats the difference between a truckbed full of babies and a truckbed full of bowling balls? You dont unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.
and finally, Whats the worst part about cribs? Its hard to climb out of one without waking the baby's parents.
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Post by DarkAngel on Sept 1, 2004 16:59:08 GMT -5
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Mustang?
I don't have a Mustang in my garage.
What's worse that 10 dead babies in a tree?
1 dead baby in 10 trees.
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Scythe
Task Mage
Awesomely Cool Member Guy
Quite Possibly Mad
Posts: 533
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Post by Scythe on Sept 7, 2004 13:49:11 GMT -5
What's green and has wheels? -Grass! I made up the part about the wheels...
What's the difference between a chicken? -One of it's legs is both the same
Whats the difference between a blonde and a car door? -The car door doesn't walk funny after you slam it.
A reader and a writer are walking in the savannah when a lion jumps out at them. The lion only eats one of them. Which one did it eat? -The reader. Readers digest and writers cramp.
If pro is the opposite of con, whats the opposite of progress? -Congress.
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Post by devo2 on Sept 30, 2004 1:44:57 GMT -5
what's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? open the car door What's the next thing she does? Walk home what did hellen keller do when she fell down the stairs? She screamed her Forking hands off.
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TheFallenAngel
Parlor Mage
Is this Penguin not the shiznite?
Posts: 58
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Post by TheFallenAngel on Dec 13, 2004 20:27:03 GMT -5
Forgive me God, Black People, Mexicans, and anyone else I will offend.
-How do you scare a balck man? -Take him to an auction
-How many babies does it take to paint a room? -Depends on how hard you throw them
-Whats yellow and green and eats balls? -Gonnorhea
I have edited out anything, to appease morabaurk
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Post by Kodyn on Dec 14, 2004 5:06:27 GMT -5
Guys, guys. I am very close to deleting this thread.
Now I will allow some offensive matierial on this site, but racism I cannot stand for, no matter what race. It's funny in stand up, but not here, where there can be kids and ppl like to browse without fear of seeing this stuff.
I am actually going to admit to being offended by a few of the jokes myself, and embarrassed by my members and staff about a lot.
This is the first warning. Go through and delete any racist remarks you have made now, or I will delete the whole thread.
This may seem harsh, but I stand firm about this. I have a language filter on here for a reason, and there's a certain level i don't want anyone to stoop below.[/color]
EDIT: Anything racist.
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Post by kemykal on Dec 14, 2004 15:42:29 GMT -5
nothing racist? shit, there goes a third of my material.
Whats the difference between a cop and a robber? Robbers wont shoot when you show them your wallet.
A man opens a fortune cookie that says "You will acquire a large sum of money." he walks outside the restuarant and a safe falls on him.
Did you hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she.
What did Sylvia Plath's boyfriend say when he found her dead in the kitchen? "No, no, no. Head in LAP, FOOD in oven."
What do your parents hate the most? You.
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TheFallenAngel
Parlor Mage
Is this Penguin not the shiznite?
Posts: 58
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Post by TheFallenAngel on Dec 14, 2004 20:33:46 GMT -5
This is the first warning. Go through and delete any racist remarks you have made now, or I will delete the whole thread.
This may seem harsh, but I stand firm about this. I have a language filter on here for a reason, and there's a certain level i don't want anyone to stoop below.[/color] EDIT: Anything racist.[/quote] So, this is why I can't really post anything else... and why I deleted all my jokes
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Post by devo2 on Dec 15, 2004 20:07:47 GMT -5
Guys, guys. I am very close to deleting this thread.
Now I will allow some offensive matierial on this site, but racism I cannot stand for, no matter what race. It's funny in stand up, but not here, where there can be kids and ppl like to browse without fear of seeing this stuff.
I am actually going to admit to being offended by a few of the jokes myself, and embarrassed by my members and staff about a lot.
This is the first warning. Go through and delete any racist remarks you have made now, or I will delete the whole thread.
This may seem harsh, but I stand firm about this. I have a language filter on here for a reason, and there's a certain level i don't want anyone to stoop below. [/color] EDIT: Anything racist.[/quote] done. I sometimes forget that I am in a different place in life than most of the members of this site. As such, what I may or may not be offended by is different. I admit that 10 years ago I was offended by a great deal, so for that I am sorry. I guess I've just learned to mellow out in the last 10 years and see the humor in things that are intended to be humorous, especially among friends who I know to be upstanding people and not racist or sexist at heart. While my joke was sexist, not racist, it's still the same thing.
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Post by SuperBassX84 on Dec 18, 2004 4:29:56 GMT -5
I personally haven't seen a problem with any of these. They're jokes, they're meant to shock and offend, but also to humor. And they take stereotypes and, honestly, stereotypes exist for a reason. It's funny when groups are poked fun at, so long as it's not done with malicious intent and not only to one specific group. We've not only passed it around here, but we've done it in good fun. Personally, I don't think anything should be deleted.
Then again, I have been accused of being high simply because of how normally laid-back I am.
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Post by omeguz on Dec 18, 2004 9:23:34 GMT -5
morb: correct me if I'm wrong, but did you go and delete my post?!
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